This ninja in Naruto is unscientific

Chapter 54 Police Department's Civilized Law Enforcement Standards

Konoha Police Department, training ground.

The morning sunlight shone through the thin clouds onto the bluestone slabs, but this warm light did not dispel the atmosphere in the arena that was even more somber than that of someone heading to a battlefield.

Hundreds of police officers lined up.

On the left were Uchiha clan members, their dark blue high-necked uniforms spotless, their backs ramrod straight like javelins, their faces tense as if they were going to a funeral; on the right was a mixed formation of Hyuga, Nara, Yamanaka, and other clans, most of them wearing expressions of helplessness like "I want to go home and sleep" or "Why do I have to come here too?"

At the very front of the group stood Fugaku Uchiha, Tetsu Nishikawa, and Minato Namikaze side by side.

Fugaku held a newly printed booklet in his hand—"Konoha Police Department's Code of Conduct for Civilized Law Enforcement."

"Given that although the police department has improved its efficiency recently, its image remains a serious problem, especially with some unnecessary physical conflicts and verbal violence."

Fugaku's voice was deep, his gaze sweeping across the room like a blade, especially his stern look towards the Uchiha group. "To completely reverse the villagers' stereotypes about us, from today onwards, everyone must strictly abide by these rules. This is not just discipline, but a mission!"

"Article one." Fugaku opened the manual, and when he read this line, the corner of his mouth twitched involuntarily. It seemed that these words were even more difficult to pronounce than the hand seals for an S-rank ninjutsu. "The opening line for law enforcement must be: 'Hello, Konoha Police Department is at your service.'"

The entire place was deathly silent, with only the rustling of leaves in the wind.

"Secondly, the closing remarks must be: 'Thank you for your cooperation, and I wish you a pleasant life.'"

Several Uchiha clan members had their eyebrows twisted into a pretzel shape.

"The third rule..." Fugaku took a deep breath, as if he had used all his strength to utter these two words, "You are forbidden to look at the villagers with the eyes of a prisoner. You must... keep smiling."

"boom!"

The moment he finished speaking, the entire room erupted in uproar, as if a detonation tag had been thrown into a calm lake.

"Smile?!"

A veteran Uchiha Jonin stared wide-eyed, as if he had heard something utterly absurd. "Captain! We are ninjas! We are the sharp blades that maintain order! Our duty is to deter criminals, how can we bow and scrape like waiters at an izakaya?"

"Exactly! This is so embarrassing! Where is the dignity of the Uchiha clan?"

"Am I supposed to tell that petty thief, 'Please hand over the stolen goods, thank you'?"

Protests erupted one after another. Although the mixed formation didn't react as strongly, it wasn't much better; many people were trying not to laugh.

"quiet!"

Fugaku roared, the three tomoe faintly appearing in his pupils, and a terrifying pressure of chakra instantly enveloped the entire area: "This is an order. Anyone who doesn't want to work here can go home now!"

The scene fell silent instantly, but the resentment lingered.

"But Captain, we really don't know how to laugh..." someone said weakly. "Our training only teaches us how to fight."

"Can't smile? Then practice!"

Fugaku waved his hand and pointed to the dozens of huge full-length mirrors behind him—which Nishikawa Toru had specially bought overnight.

"Everyone, practice in front of the mirror until Advisor Minato and Assistant Cheol are satisfied. No lunch until you've practiced enough!"

Thus, the most bizarre and terrifying scene in the history of the Konoha Police Department unfolded.

Dozens of Uchiha clan members with cold, murderous expressions stood in front of a mirror, trying hard to control their previously undeveloped smiling muscles.

"Hello... Hello."

Former captain of the First Squad of the Police Department, now head of the Criminal Investigation Division—Uchiha Yatsuho. A well-known tough guy in the Police Department, he was looking in the mirror, his lips twitching upwards in a stiff manner.

In the mirror, his eyes were fierce, and his eyelids twitched. The forced smile on his face was not friendly at all, but rather resembled the excited grin of a psychopathic killer dismembering a corpse.

"That's terrifying!"

Minato, who was in charge of the assessment, couldn't help but cover his eyes, feeling as if his heart had been hit by a thousand points of damage.

"Yashiro-senpai, please don't show your teeth. And your eyes, soften your gaze. You look like you're about to devour the villagers whole..."

"What am I supposed to do?!" Yashiro broke down, clutching his hair. "All I can do is sneer at the enemy! This is way harder than using a Fireball Jutsu!"

"Think of something happy!" Nishikawa Tetsu calmly instructed, taking notes in his notebook. "Like... got paid? Or caught an S-rank rogue ninja?"

Yashiro thought for a moment, then his eyes suddenly turned intense, his mouth stretched to his ears, revealing his gleaming white teeth, and a low "hehehe" laugh came from his throat, exuding murderous intent.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Minato took a step back in fright, waving his hand with a wry smile. "This is even scarier! Let's stop laughing. Just don't glare at people. Calm down a bit."

On the other hand, the situation with mixed formations wasn't much better; the scene suddenly turned into a performance art piece.

Several members of the Nara clan were leaning against the mirror, their bodies so limp they seemed boneless, their eyelids practically glued together.

"Hoo... Ah..."

A Nara clansman yawned widely, his eyes blurry with tears as he looked in the mirror, and said in a half-dead tone, "You... huff... okay... Konoha... Police Department... please cooperate... huff..."

Before he could finish speaking, he nodded and almost fell asleep.

"Wake up!" The Hyuga branch family member in charge of supervision slapped him on the back. "This is an assessment! Put your mind to it!"

"This is so troublesome..." The Nara clansman rubbed his eyes, looking utterly dejected. "Why do I have to say 'Have a pleasant life'? Life is troublesome enough as it is... and talking to myself in the mirror is so silly."

The Hyuga clan's situation was even more disastrous.

They habitually roll their eyes to observe details, and when they smile at themselves in the mirror, their eyes, with bulging veins and no pupils, are paired with a stiff, professional fake smile...

"what!"

A delivery woman passing by glanced at it, and was so frightened that she dropped the water bucket and ran away, shouting, "A ghost! The police station is haunted!"

……

In his office on the second floor, Fugaku stood by the window, watching the chaotic scene below, and covered his face in anguish.

"Is this what you mean by being approachable?" Fugaku turned to ask Nishikawa Tetsu beside him. "I think if they go out, they'll scare the children and might even cause panic among the villagers, making them think that the Uchiha clan has been under some kind of genjutsu."

"The process is tortuous, but the future is bright."

Nishikawa Tetsu calmly took a sip of tea, suppressing a smile, while his pen flew across the paper.

"At least they don't seem so unapproachable now, they're even kind of adorably silly."

"Cute my foot!" Fugaku said irritably. "The Uchiha clan doesn't need to be cute."

"However, senior, shouldn't you also practice?"

Nishikawa Tetsu suddenly turned around, grinning mischievously, and said, "As the captain, you're supposed to set an example. If you can't even do it yourself, how can you command respect?"

Fugaku's body stiffened, and his figure, with his back to the two, appeared somewhat rigid.

"I... I guess I don't need to? I'm the captain, I need to maintain my authority."

"How can that be?" Minato also came over, with that naturally sly smile on his face.

"With the captain taking the lead, everyone will be motivated. Besides, Mikoto-nee also said that your smile is actually... quite distinctive."

"Mikoto?" Fugaku's defenses crumbled instantly.

Under duress and enticement from the two men, the Uchiha clan leader was forced to stand in front of the full-length mirror in his office.

He looked at his serious poker face in the mirror, took a deep breath, and tried to recall Mikoto's gentle, tender smile.

Relax your facial muscles, turn up the corners of your mouth, and soften your gaze...

One second later.

The mirror reflected a teenager whose facial muscles were twitching wildly, whose eyes were darting around, and whose mouth was uneven, as if he were about to have a stroke. His expression was like that of someone who was constipated, or someone who had just swallowed a fly.

"..."

A deathly silence fell over the office.

Even Nishikawa Tetsu fell silent.

This is no longer a scary issue; it's a mental pollution caused by excessive awkwardness.

"Cough cough."

Nishikawa Tetsu stepped forward, solemnly patted Fugaku on the shoulder, and said in a heavy tone:

"Never mind, senior. For the sake of Konoha's peace, and to prevent the villagers from calling the police... you should remain as you are. Your authority is the police department's last line of defense."

Fugaku breathed a sigh of relief, wiping the cold sweat from his forehead as if he had just survived a life-or-death battle.

Although the first day of special training ended with "everyone being expressionless" and "mass fright," in the days that followed, the villagers of Konoha were surprised to find that the usually fierce police officers had indeed changed.

Even if that "hello" sounds like "don't touch me, I'm robbing you," even if that "thank you" sounds like "you know what's good for you," even if that smile is so stiff it looks like a fake face.

But this clumsy and comical change made the villagers feel for the first time that this group of Uchiha seemed to be really trying to become different.

Some daring children even started imitating the stiff smiles of the Uchiha members, which became a popular new game on the streets of Konoha.